Antonia Williams and Sophie Anim
You’ve walked out of Tesco’s, donuts and Red Bull in hand. You then begin the walk, that all too fleeting passage of time when walking from Market Street to the place where dreams go to die. No, not the Lizard.
The library. You go through the menacing barriers… to then sit down on the sofas on the ground floor for a twenty minute chat with someone… anyone. Finally you commence the dreaded uphill pilgrimage to the third floor. As you’re huffing and puffing, you land in your seat and there, directly opposite you, is the fit Scando you’ve loved from afar, you poor, tortured soul, for months. You stare longingly, awkwardly, essay still unwritten until said stranger feels so uncomfortable that they leave.
Now, lads and ladies of Fife, enough is enough. Instead of ‘Spotted: in the Library’, we want ‘Got ‘em: in the Library’. Below is a list of the things NOT to do in your efforts to impress that gorgeous stranger…
- No more getting stuck in the barriers due to the amount weight gained from alcohol abuse and trips to Courtyard: fresher fifteen knows no bounds, kids.
- No more judgement regarding library attire: maternity leggings with that sexy elastic waist band and your dad’s favourite moth-eaten jumper are HOT TO TROT. If your potential library lover cannot overlook these fashion disasters then frankly, they are not worth it.
- No more threats from the library staff with regards to food consumption. Being asked to leave due to the copious amount of crumbs which you left all over the library computer keyboard and surrounding area is not fun or cool, and just a bit embarrassing to be honest…especially the second and third time.
- Finally, no more hiding behind shelves, crouching under desks, running to the loo, being forced to stay out in the smoking area or falling down a flight of stairs all in a bid to avoid that special library someone. It’s time to (wo)man up! Next time you see you see that bibliothèque beauty, ignore your greasy hair and baked bean stained clothes and approach.
- Here is some inspiration (maybe leave the third line out until you’ve been on a few dates), go forth and Long Live Lib Love.
Image courtesy of yorkvision.co.uk