Hockey Men Best in St Andrews?

Find out how “11 goal hungry Chimbondas” took on the rugby club – and won.

Wednesday 2nd April was a momentous day for Saints Sport, as the hockey, rugby and football clubs all competed in each others sports in an attempt to prove themselves the best all-round sporting club in St Andrews.

Originally, The Stand was promised an account of proceedings from all three clubs; however, the hockey club was the only contributor to meet the deadline. Coincidentally, the hockey club were also the eventual winners…

Dodes Page gives a thrilling account of the rugby match between the hockey and football clubs:

“The scene was set for the biggest fixture in the Hockey club calendar. A post-less and line-less pitch awaited the Hockey Club Rugby Club (HCRC) to battle their bitterest of rivals: the Football Club Rugby Club (FCRC). After both teams blew out a few years worth of cobwebs from their rugby lockers with some half-hearted warm-ups, we were ready for kick-off.

The first half was all FCRC. Camped in the HCRC half, they inundated the defensive line with numerous fast paced attacks but after 15 minutes of solid possession they still had nothing to show for their dominance thanks to some fearless tackling from the HCRC centres, Arthur and Kiwi.

The turning point in the game came in the 17th minute. The FCRC scrum half, Jeff Morrison, commanding the play in the centre of the park, was suddenly ambushed by the spritely Dodes Page causing a scrappy kick and chase from the ever present Bryson. Seemingly certain to score, he was pulled back cynically giving the referee no option but to award a penalty try.

The 2nd half gave rise to the fluid HCRC attacking line with Jamieson showing some fancy footwork and determination to get over the line early on. With HCRC up by two tries, they seemed to take their foot off the gas, allowing FCRC to go over the line in the final play of the game to make it 10-5.” Charles Riley, also of the hockey club, was reporting on their football match against the rugby club.

We love the rugby boys. They’re like stern fathers; strict but affectionate. When I found out that we were expected to play them in football my heart was torn. Half of my heart wanted to destroy them and further the hockey clubs claim that we are the best athletes this polytechnic offers; the other half wanted to avoid such a petty competition and just relax in the comfort of Bertie’s chest hair. Soft like an overly microwaved sausage roll.

The game commenced. Rugby fielded an intimidating squad, like 11 goal hungry Chimbonda’s. We countered with a squad of our bravest individuals. Goals were few and far between. Finally Ben “I’m a local lol” Jamieson opened the scoring by caressing the ball into the net. Things were looking bleak for our rugby comrades. The second half was when they unleashed the demon, and that demon was Sausage. We tried our best to contain him. We even scored in the process.

When the final whistle blew it took a few minutes before we fully comprehended what had happened. We had won. Grins on our faces, we marched towards Sinners to claim our spoils.”

So, a comprehensive (if slightly partial) account kindly provided by the hockey team surely leaves no doubt about which is the most accomplished sports club in St Andrews.



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