Photo: Elite Daily

Does Anyone Else… struggle with one night stand etiquette?

Anonymous bemoans being blanked by an ex hookup.

If you’ve got something to be stroppy about, send us your own DAE article and join the ranks of the internet’s anonymous instigators. 


Imagine, if you will, the frozen meat section of Tesco. The soft hum of the refrigerator, the tantalising sight of raw drumsticks, the sweet smell of meal deals on the horizon. Somewhere between an overpriced steak and a sketchy slice of chicken, you find yourself mere meters away from someone with whom you have exchanged approximately seven words and a couple bodily fluids. You need to get to the till but he’s in your way, and you can’t go backwards because you just glimpsed a former tutor near the American section.

You’ve got yourself a one night standoff.

Regardless of your views on the emotional sanctity of genitals, sex is unquestionably an intimate act. Stripping down to your barest assets, grinding up against each other, making noises you would never dream of making in polite company… All of these things are entirely unacceptable in most contexts. To reveal yourself to someone in this manner requires trust, something that is unlikely to have been established in the two odd hours that you’ve known each other since first locking eyes in the Vic. By copulating without the foundation of friendship, you are going against both social convention and basic instinct.

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To reconcile our carnal lust with our rejection of social norms, we are often seized by feelings of shame after engaging in a so-called One Night Stand. Mumbled goodbyes and mortified walks home may stave off the humiliation for the moment, but what can we do when the object of our ignominy appears before us in person? What if they attempt to engage us in conversation? How can a person possibly react in such a disastrous scenario?

I got with a stranger during Freshers’ Week 2015. I first encountered him post-hookup at the Union, where I spoke to a mutual friend for nearly ten minutes while he loitered in the background, staring at the pool tables and determinedly pretending that I did not exist. Eye contact appeared to be too great an intimacy for the guy who, just seven days earlier, had groped me on Market Street and slept in my bed until noon. 

It seems that the default response to shame is ignorance, a mental denial of what may or may not have happened. The strategy of blanking, in my experience, is one mostly employed by men. Plenty of ladies (myself included) have of course embarked on a rather embarrassing one night stand or two, but I’ve found that we tend to shrug them off rather easily. This could be attributed to our lack of worry that the boy might desire a relationship.

Photo: Gossip Girl
Photo: Gossip Girl

Let’s face it: The person you drunkenly sleep with after Tequila Tuesday, without so much as knowing their name or hopes for the future, isn’t the person you want to date. Alcohol guides you into the arms of the nearest warm body, regardless of what personality that brain possesses. The next day, you will both go your separate ways, having come to a mutual understanding that the previous night came with no strings attached.

Boys, however, have been socialised to believe that girls are constantly on the hunt for The One. If Sex and the City and women’s magazines have it right, females seek nothing more than commitment, a long-term relationship with some poor unsuspecting male, forevermore locked out of bachelorhood in favour of matching jumpers and shared Facebook profiles. To avoid this fate, boys tend to employ harsh tactics to keep potentially randy girls at bay. I knew a boy who often bragged about blanking his previous hookups, explaining that he wouldn’t want to “give them any ideas” post-sex.

And that is where I struggle. Whether you are a virgin by choice or a self-confessed slag, sex should not be a taboo subject. If anyone, male or female, makes the decision to get it on with a classmate, then why treat it as something dreadful? I understand the distinction between “would bang” and “would date,” but at the very least polite conversation can be tolerated between past lovers.

Like it or not, we’ve seen each other naked. Don’t make it awkward by implying I want to marry you because of it.

Comments

comments

558 thoughts on “Does Anyone Else… struggle with one night stand etiquette?

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  89. No problem – clean it up later. Beatley, Timothy (2012). Singapore: City in a Garden. These characteristics are ones that you will recognize, as they are what you have conscious access to and therefore, can relate to. http://tinyurl.com/2krj2gce 2020-03-29: I am still not sure about dates of the posts!

  90. Making a ball move around the screen using a predefined API isn’t the same as parsing large, complex data structures efficiently. When people gain a deeper sense of self-understanding, higher fulfillment is a natural byproduct. http://tinyurl.com/2lmxfv6f And I only use Vim to operate on the self-tracking data structure I describe in this article.

  91. You should usually be wary of mutating a function’s arguments. We design CalyxOS to meet the extraordinary privacy and security needs of frontline human rights defenders, journalists, lawyers, and political and social activist groups. 2020-10-29: An apt reminder from John Gruber on why leaders still matter, they instill virtues. http://is.gd/xf6vnn Most of these programs also include extensive object and texture (overlay graphic) libraries, allowing the user to customize the virtual environment and make it as accurate a representation of the real crime scene as possible.

  92. From scientific journals to news reporting, the presentation of opinion and facts is often improved with graphics and thoughtful compositions of visual information – known as information design. This definition comes from their website. http://is.gd/HMF3Jr Ra Uru Hu, the founder of the system, called the system a “User’s Manual,” which made sense as a metaphor for a man who grew up in the twentieth century.

  93. We must understand those needs thoroughly – interrogating data, not just making assumptions – and we should remember that what users ask for is not always what they need. An example of a divergent task is generating alternative designs for a poster. Zone Fighter (1973). Directed by IshirЕЌ Honda et al. http://tinyurl.com/2nat9rrh Flowers were used to fill any spaces in between.

  94. This war, dubbed the Great Galactic War, was halted when Vitiate, on the cusp of victory, was restrained by the telepathic prowess of Revan. 2021-03-13: Stoop has to be one of the very apps that works far better on Android than on iOS. http://clck.ru/ymREm Privacy: You should have total control over your own personal data.

  95. “Then after a while, the deer took the plough. NYU has always been at the forefront of new developments in education, and that is clear in its two UX-related degree programs. If, hypothetically, 1 JS implementation were to unilaterally take a less aggressive approach to JIT compilation (for example, only doing JIT compilation after observing strong signals that it is really necessary, rather than doing it eagerly), the tech press and competing firms would publish misleading micro-benchmarks showing that in certain circumstances other JS implementations ran ‘faster’. http://clck.ru/ymREu An old UX adage says: “walk a mile in the user’s shoes.” When designers are in close contact with their customers a deeper sense of empathy emerges-essential to the creation of ethical designs that respect privacy and the quality of life.

  96. Lively debates on varied topic, with logical Some of the courses in this specialization are Cyber Security with Blockchain, Malware Analysis for Mobile Devices, Security and Privacy for Big Data Analytics, Penetration Testing, and Ethical Hacking, among others. http://is.gd/p5fQ3i Worse, he’s not good at acting and stammers when nervous.

  97. Imagine a giant corporation sitting on that egg and your job is to figure out how to shimmy up the beanstalk, battle the giant corporation, grab the leading spot for findability, and race to the revenue goal line. Jeff Foust reviews a book by a NASA astronaut who played a key role ensuring the telescope could be repaired by later shuttle missions. The thinner the base, the more natural-looking the hair toupee will look and feel. http://is.gd/cuBSZ7 All that human design does is help you remember what you already wanted to know about who you wanted to be and what excited you.

  98. The goal is quantity and diversity of ideas. The Product Development and Manufacturing Technology degree from Arizona State University is based on the belief that putting products on the market with success starts with a comprehensive sense of the humans who use those products. Falcon 9 is human-rated for transporting NASA astronauts to the ISS. http://is.gd/xsvTmc Administrative web interfaces for web-servers, servers and networked computers are often called control panels.

  99. Archived from the original on 3 July 2017. Communities across the world are looking at different, greener methods for generating and conserving energy. http://is.gd/RxVmIl This management approach results in what is referred to as urban stream syndrome.

  100. The mission results will also help prepare for human exploration. Shades of colors are made by adding black (e.g., blue-green plus black creates teal). As a discipline, HCI is a forerunner of user experience design. http://is.gd/SUQae9 After completing your research, you (together with your team) make a list of all the fundamental problems and critical areas where you can work.

  101. On some chain link fences, these strands are attached to a bracket tilted 45 degrees towards the intruder, further increasing the difficulty. Liquidising whole foods is a very basic first step in easy and instant homemade bait making! http://tinyurl.com/2qlkul3l He had expanded in numerous areas ranging from mundane household items, instruments and furniture to trucks, uniforms and entire rooms.

  102. Yet medieval cathedrals are filled with geometry and proportion — from labyrinths in mosaic floor tiles to the criss-crossing ribs that hold the ceiling. Suppose you bought a house that came with no bathroom, or roof, but instead got a vague promise of an imminent ‘update’. Philip: And blood is a cleansing agent. http://is.gd/dpl4Fu Human factors design (or people-centered design), specifically, focuses on improving areas within a product or design where interaction happens.

  103. it naturally for me became a creative experience. They expect your work history to tell a story that makes sense. http://is.gd/uK758D Most of those state requirements are based on the standards of the National Council for Interior Design Qualification, or NCIDQ.

  104. The wealthiest passenger was John Jacob Astor IV, heir to the Astor family fortune, who had made waves a year earlier by marrying 18-year-old Madeleine Talmadge Force, a young woman 29 years his junior, shortly after divorcing his first wife. We can’t fall back out of justification, but we might fall under God’s fatherly disapproval for a time because of our sins. I want to keep an eye on performance – not too many allocations, and doing coercion and validation with a single traversal of the input/schema tree (instead of two traversals). http://is.gd/TxXnxe Wingsuit manufacturers offer training courses and certify instructors, and also impose the minimum jump numbers required before purchasing a wingsuit.

  105. The ending, which was ultimately decided using a choice of buttons, was chosen because of technical and time constraints while retaining player interaction. Hundreds of human dramas unfolded between the order to load the lifeboats and the ship’s final plunge: Men saw off wives and children, families were separated in the confusion and selfless individuals gave up their spots to remain with loved ones or allow a more vulnerable passenger to escape. http://is.gd/SqlzZV The pragmatics of a scientific theory can, to be sure, be pursued without recourse to Christ.

  106. Clark, Stephen (11 October 2012). It was designed by the American architect I. M. Pei and was completed in 1989. It’s often difficult for us humans to challenge our assumptions and everyday knowledge because we rely on building patterns of thinking in order to not have to learn everything from scratch every time. http://is.gd/Mfcm4V The Makefile based build system for shadow-cljs.

  107. Beneath the layer where the light sensors are, there’s a reflective layer. 29 at the Bioneers Southeast Forum on the Atlanta campus of the Savannah College of Art & Design. Well, that’s a surprise, but whichever one it is, it’ll definitely up the intensity of the battle! http://tinyurl.com/2f7czvrw I simply did not have the time anymore and also visitors were less and less during the last year.

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  109. Oh, we’re manipulating TokenStreams directly from Rust code! American Institute of Architects. http://is.gd/p5fQ3i Separate samples are taken for the left and right speakers in a stereo system.4 million bits per second equals 176,000 bytes per second.

  110. SpaceNews. Ananian, C. Scott (24 October 2014). 2019-08-13: It is tiring to make decisions. http://is.gd/mLlJ9F They will never need online resources to function properly, they will always be bundled with enough documentation to be repaired without our help.

  111. The immense size of the pyramids attracted robbers to the wealth that lay inside which caused the tombs to be robbed relatively soon after the tomb was sealed in some cases. 2022-04-15: Elon Musk wants to own and take Twitter private then? http://is.gd/cuBSZ7 However, Wiktionary cannot guarantee the validity of the information found here.

  112. After extensive research and ideation, the product owner is ready to release the product to a larger audience. In Crossing Over, when the Cybertronians Skyfall and Landquake arrive on Earth unexpectedly Megatron attempts to destroy them, but Optimus Prime and his Autobots are able to drive Megatron away. There was no late night, or early http://is.gd/HMF3Jr The protocol is just the gateway to Gemini.

  113. This design was first used in One Shell Plaza. Sim: Maybe you might have a choice. http://is.gd/rdzOdV We all know that breathing is made up of a two of phases namely inhaling or encouragement and inhaling out or simply expiration.

  114. There is one concept in this confusing world which I absolutely hate. Some of us need to wait for emotional clarity, some of us need to speak and hear ourselves, and some of us need to be perfectly attuned to the environment around them. Our initial task list is neither exhaustive nor binding. http://tinyurl.com/2krj2gce Incorporating the knowledge of Human Design into your recruitment strategies is key to lasting success.

  115. If they behave like a manifestor type and try and make things happen, they will get frustrated. These prototypes can be shared and tested within the team itself, in other departments or on a small group of people outside the design team. CancelTheContract to call for an end to a database services agreement with US Customs and Border Protection (CBP). http://tinyurl.com/2fe7ujyo For example, this is how the Human Design Chart looks like.

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