Why I’ll Be Staying in Halls Next Semester

Jonathan Chatterjee revels in his love of Regs.

I live in St Regulus, the hall with the highest proportion of non-freshers. Maybe I’m biased, but I think staying in halls is a great thing.

First of all, any of you who want to leave halls because of the food should read my article on that exact topic. Basically, unless you happen to be Gordon Ramsay, you’ll probably miss hall food when it’s gone. Even if you are Gordon Ramsay, you will still encounter problems when cooking your own food – such as locating the lamb sauce.

The main reason you would want to break free from the shackles of your halls is the consequent independence and freedom. For instance, many of you may be longing to host some sort of “party”, “part-ay”, “sesh,” or “shindig” every once in a while. (Personally, such an idea is patently ridiculous, as that may require a few minutes of tidying up beforehand, something I am incredibly reluctant to do.)

Photo: Redorbit

But such an argument fails through simple supply-and-demand analysis. If everyone had their own flat, each person will only very occasionally get to host such a sesh. If the average sesh has 30 people, for instance, you will only be able to host 1/30th of them. Is the ability and freedom to do this occasionally really worth the opportunity cost of all those conveniently mass-produced potatoes?

Furthermore, think about all the friends you won’t see anymore. You may see them occasionally, but not as much. If you are going into a flat of six from halls of 200, for instance, you’re losing out on 97% of those people you used to live with.

But of course, I am avoiding the elephant in the room. Perhaps because of economies of scale (I don’t study economics at university, I swear), perhaps because of profiteering landlords, or perhaps because of the regulations around new landlords, privately renting a flat is extortionate. I know this partly from my friends’ conversations, but partly from a few memes posted by St Memedrews on the subject.

Because I know a subject is serious when there are memes about it.



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