Christmas. It is a festive holiday during the month of December. It is a time for traditions, family, and stuffing one’s face with the annual caloric intake of one small child. I like Christmas. I mean, who doesn’t? I associate it with catching up with family and friends, indulging in my consumerist tendencies, and living in my pyjamas for days on end. But above all else, there is one thing in particular that comes to mind when I think of Christmas – the month of December.
And yet, I’m not entirely sure that all of those in my immediate surroundings have received this memo. It may very well be that there was a collective burning of all available calendars in the form of a bonfire at Castle Sands, and I simply missed that memo. Perhaps November has been cancelled on the grounds that it truly is a bit of a pointless month. In any case, for the purpose of this article let us assume that November is happening, and that the majority of people here in St Andrews do, indeed, have access to calendars. Let us assume also that I am not so much a Grinch, but more of an activist for December’s god-given right to Christmas (just ask the little baby Jesus in the manger, people). My newfound activism is inspired by these three points:
Premature Christmas celebrations are stressful af.
It feels as if Christmas is approaching at lightning-fast speed, when I haven’t even begun to contemplate my Christmas shopping list/impending end-of-term exams. The extra cherry on top here is that while this causes me stress and turmoil, it also gets me excited for the holidays and relaxation which are still a month away. I have coined this trend “premature Christmasing,” and this unnatural behaviour causes stress, then pain, then excitement, followed swiftly by desperate disappointment. When will the suffering end??
It’s offensive to December.
What did December ever do to you? It’s the final month of the year, and it is forced to wade through all of 2017 and the entirety of its mutating absurdities (shoutout to Trump, the exorbitant Iphone X, and McDonald’s Szechuan Sauce madness), only to have its glory once again stolen by the month of November. It is us, the common people, who are perpetuating this injustice. Justice for December, I say. We have the power to return it to its former glory. You wouldn’t steal a car. You wouldn’t steal a phone. Illegal downloading is a crime. And so is stealing December’s glory, via premature Christmasing.
Celebrating Christmas in November is just plain illogical.
If I started gifting Easter eggs in March, I’d be a lunatic. Arrive at my lecture dressed as Pennywise and suddenly I’m “a threat to myself and others.” If I can’t celebrate Halloween in September, then my pre-drinking neighbours across the hall are not allowed to blare “All I Want For Christmas Is You” on the 14th of November. According to Plato, logic constitutes one third of the soul. Don’t be soulless, don’t perpetuate premature Christmasing.
And so, let me leave you with this summation: Christmas takes place in December, to celebrate it prematurely is to be soulless, months have feelings too, and Halloween is undervalued in general. Premature Christmasing is a very real and ongoing issue. Don’t be part of the problem, be part of the solution. Take down those festive decorations, delete the Christmas playlist for the time being, and let’s all get back to ignoring the maelstrom of deadlines looming on the horizon, shall we? I beg of you, leave Christmas where it belongs – in December.