Photo: Ellsworth Air Force Base

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun: Please Don’t Touch Us

‘This title may seem a painfully obvious statement to most of you reading it, but to those of you for whom it isn’t – good, keep on reading: this article is for you.’

This title may seem a painfully obvious statement to most of you reading it, but to those of you for whom it is not – good, keep on reading: this article is for you. By this, I am referring to those of you who assume that a girl’s presence in a bar is an inherent indication of her availability, or maybe her style of dancing is a clear sign that she’s up for it, or maybe just the skirt she is wearing has some encrypted code which, unbeknownst even to her, is just begging you to come and hover in her personal space. This article is written following events in a nightclub just two weeks ago which highlighted to us just how pervasive this issue is and continues to be – that is right, the age-old issue of creepy men in bars and nightclubs who refuse to leave you alone, or simply respect your right to exist comfortably. You are probably thinking you have heard this before and you are right, you have (especially in this last year in the wake of #MeToo, #Time’sUp and the recent Kavanaugh trials), but you are going to hear it again because, apparently, the message still is not getting through.

Photo: Flickr

As St. Andrews students, one can easily begin to tire of the limited options for a night out. Thus, after a great time at Varsity, four of us gals decided to enjoy a night out, that did not include the Union or the Vic, in Edinburgh. This mission brought us to the Banshee Labyrinth, a club off the Royal Mile built in the historic slums of Edinburgh. Aside from having free entry, it featured the cheesiest of tunes and great vibes, both too often lacking in 601.

We were having a great time before a man (at least 35 years old) approached us and persistently followed us around the dance floor. Having left the room in an effort to shake our stalker, we returned to discover he had thankfully left. We resumed dancing but, ten minutes into our newly recovered freedom from harassment, a new contender stepped into the ring – this time with a group of his mates. More brazen than our last creep, this man felt entitled to come up behind us and touch one of us. After our asking him what the fuck he was doing, one of his friends emerged to apprehend him. Shrugging, he said, “Ah sorry he’s a bit drunk”, whilst smiling at his friend as if, to him, this whole situation seemed quite amusing.

The events detailed above are absolutely familiar to every single girl reading this. This is not to say that girls cannot behave this way, nor that girls are the only victims of this sort of behaviour – but this form of invasive, pathetic and honestly obnoxious harassment is something which is experienced by the majority of girls on the majority of nights out and it is disproportionately enacted by men.

Our singular yet most significant crime on this night was that we happened to exist in the same space as them – apparently, this presence is enough to warrant unwanted verbal and physical contact with absolute strangers.

This assumption of entitlement – to our attention, our space, our time- is at the core of so many of the stories you are now seeing plastered across your social media feed. The recent spate of objections following the Kavanaugh hearings exemplify this, in the numerous tweets from male Twitter users, lamenting their fear of being unable “to even touch a woman” without being accused of sexual assault. In this case, then the arrogance of assuming physical touch as the baseline of your interactions with women is your first mistake.

Photo: Pixabay

This is not a problem that exists only in Edinburgh or even in big cities. This is a systemic issue in our society and exists in St. Andrews too. If you yourself are drunk, even if you forget your phone and matric card, you cannot forget to respect the boundaries of other people – because alcohol is not responsible for harassment, the harasser is. No one is entitled to a woman’s body except for the woman herself. If your friend is drunk, it is your duty as a fucking decent human to watch them and not let them ruin the night of someone else. If you or your friends are being harassed, use your voice. Society teaches women to be accommodating and quiet, but the most powerful tool we have is our voices. Talk to a bouncer, friend, or bartender and get the person harassing you taken out so that neither you nor anyone else will have to tolerate such violations.

This does not have to be the way things are. Girls just want to have fun – so let them.

Comments

comments

245 thoughts on “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun: Please Don’t Touch Us

  1. First off I would like to say wonderful blog!
    I had a quick question that I’d like to ask if you do not mind.

    I was interested to know how you center yourself and
    clear your head prior to writing. I’ve had trouble clearing my thoughts in getting my ideas out.
    I truly do enjoy writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are generally wasted simply
    just trying to figure out how to begin. Any ideas or tips?
    Kudos!

  2. Magnificent items from you, man. I have be aware
    your stuff prior to and you are simply too fantastic.
    I really like what you have received right here, certainly like what you’re saying and
    the best way during which you assert it. You are making it
    entertaining and you still care for to stay it sensible.
    I cant wait to learn far more from you. That is really a great site.

  3. Pingback: Devops
  4. Pingback: Login Area
  5. Pingback: Runtz strain
  6. Have you ever heard of second life (sl for short). It is basically a online game where you can do anything you want. SL is literally my second life (pun intended lol). If you would like to see more you can see these sl authors and blogs

  7. Pingback: diamond painting
  8. Have you ever heard of second life (sl for short). It is essentially a online game where you can do anything you want. Second life is literally my second life (pun intended lol). If you want to see more you can see these sl authors and blogs

  9. Have you ever heard of second life (sl for short). It is essentially a online game where you can do anything you want. sl is literally my second life (pun intended lol). If you want to see more you can see these Second Life websites and blogs

  10. I blog often times as well as I truly admire your content. This awesome post has honestly actually peaked my interest. I am mosting likely to book mark your site and keep looking for unique info with regards to as soon as a week. I opted in for your RSS feed likewise.

  11. Great paintings! This is the type of info that should be shared across the web. Disgrace on the seek engines for now not positioning this submit higher! Come on over and visit my web site . Thanks =)

  12. Awesome site you have here but I was curious about if you knew of any user discussion forums that cover the same topics talked about here? I’d really like to be a part of group where I can get feed-back from other knowledgeable people that share the same interest. If you have any recommendations, please let me know. Thank you!

  13. With havin so much content and articles do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright infringement? My website has a lot of completely unique content I’ve either written myself or outsourced but it appears a lot of it is popping it up all over the internet without my permission. Do you know any techniques to help reduce content from being ripped off? I’d definitely appreciate it.

  14. Greetings I am so delighted I found your website, I really found you by mistake, while I was looking on Google for something else, Anyways I am here now and would just like to say kudos for a tremendous post and a all round exciting blog (I also love the theme/design), I dont have time to go through it all at the moment but I have saved it and also added in your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back to read a lot more, Please do keep up the great job.

  15. Hey there would you mind stating which blog platform you’re working with? I’m looking to start my own blog soon but I’m having a tough time choosing between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your layout seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something completely unique. P.S Apologies for getting off-topic but I had to ask!

  16. My partner and I absolutely love your blog and find the majority of your post’s to be just what I’m looking for. Do you offer guest writers to write content for you personally? I wouldn’t mind producing a post or elaborating on a number of the subjects you write related to here. Again, awesome site!

  17. My wife and i ended up being very thankful when Peter could finish up his analysis out of the precious recommendations he came across when using the web pages. It is now and again perplexing to just find yourself giving for free procedures some people may have been making money from. So we do know we now have the blog owner to thank because of that. The specific explanations you’ve made, the easy website menu, the friendships your site make it possible to create – it’s mostly amazing, and it is leading our son and us believe that that matter is pleasurable, which is certainly seriously important. Thank you for everything!

  18. Please let me know if you’re looking for a article writer for your weblog. You have some really great articles and I believe I would be a good asset. If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d really like to write some content for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine. Please send me an email if interested. Kudos!

  19. I have to show my thanks to the writer for bailing me out of this type of condition. Just after surfing around through the online world and seeing opinions which were not helpful, I assumed my life was over. Being alive devoid of the answers to the problems you have solved through the report is a serious case, and the ones that would have adversely damaged my entire career if I hadn’t encountered your site. Your talents and kindness in controlling every item was excellent. I am not sure what I would’ve done if I had not come upon such a stuff like this. I can at this time look ahead to my future. Thanks for your time very much for this expert and amazing help. I won’t think twice to suggest your web blog to any individual who requires counselling on this subject.

  20. Needed to create you a tiny observation to finally give many thanks over again on your fantastic methods you have discussed on this website. It has been certainly open-handed of people like you to grant without restraint just what a number of us could have advertised for an ebook to make some money for their own end, most notably considering that you might have done it in case you wanted. The techniques also served like a easy way to be certain that the rest have similar eagerness really like my personal own to figure out great deal more with regard to this issue. I believe there are thousands of more pleasant periods in the future for many who look over your site.

  21. Appreciating the persistence you put into your site and in depth information you provide. It’s great to come across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same outdated rehashed material. Excellent read! I’ve saved your site and I’m adding your RSS feeds to my Google account.

  22. Greetings from Colorado! I’m bored to death at work so I decided to browse your website on my iphone during lunch break. I really like the knowledge you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m amazed at how quick your blog loaded on my cell phone .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyways, good site!|

  23. Greetings from Colorado! I’m bored at work so I decided to check out your site on my iphone during lunch break. I really like the knowledge you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m surprised at how quick your blog loaded on my phone .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, superb blog!

  24. Amazing blog! Do you have any suggestions for aspiring writers? I’m planning to start my own website soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you advise starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m completely confused .. Any tips? Many thanks!

  25. I wanted to post you the very small remark so as to thank you very much over again with your precious strategies you have provided at this time. It’s so shockingly open-handed of you to provide openly exactly what a few people could possibly have made available for an ebook to generate some cash for their own end, most importantly since you could have tried it if you desired. The basics as well worked to become a fantastic way to be aware that some people have the same eagerness just like my personal own to realize a great deal more on the topic of this matter. I’m sure there are thousands of more fun occasions in the future for people who examine your site.

  26. I absolutely love your blog and find the majority of your post’s to be exactly I’m looking for. can you offer guest writers to write content for yourself? I wouldn’t mind writing a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write regarding here. Again, awesome web site!

  27. I am not sure where you are getting your information, but great topic. I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more. Thanks for magnificent info I was looking for this info for my mission.

  28. Hey there just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The text in your content seem to be running off the screen in Chrome. I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to do with browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to let you know. The layout look great though! Hope you get the issue resolved soon. Kudos

  29. Woah! I’m really loving the template/theme of this website. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s very difficult to get that “perfect balance” between superb usability and appearance. I must say you’ve done a great job with this. Also, the blog loads super fast for me on Internet explorer. Outstanding Blog!

  30. Greetings from Carolina! I’m bored to tears at work so I decided to browse your blog on my iphone during lunch break. I enjoy the info you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home. I’m shocked at how fast your blog loaded on my phone .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, very good site!|

  31. It’s the best time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy. I’ve read this post and if I could I desire to suggest you few interesting things or tips. Perhaps you can write next articles referring to this article. I desire to read even more things about it!

  32. Thank you so much for providing individuals with a very superb chance to discover important secrets from this website. It’s usually very awesome and as well , full of amusement for me personally and my office colleagues to visit your website a minimum of 3 times in 7 days to find out the new stuff you have. And of course, I’m so usually contented for the stunning tricks you serve. Some two points in this post are completely the most effective we have all had.

  33. Excellent site you have here but I was wanting to know if you knew of any community forums that cover the same topics talked about in this article? I’d really like to be a part of community where I can get advice from other experienced individuals that share the same interest. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. Many thanks!

  34. I like the valuable info you provide in your articles. I will bookmark your blog and check again here regularly. I’m quite certain I will learn many new stuff right here! Good luck for the next!

  35. What i do not realize is actually how you’re not really much more well-liked than you might be right now. You are so intelligent. You realize thus considerably relating to this subject, produced me personally consider it from a lot of varied angles. Its like women and men aren’t fascinated unless its one thing to do with Lady gaga! Your own stuffs outstanding. Always maintain it up!

  36. The following time I read a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as a lot as this one. I imply, I know it was my option to learn, but I actually thought youd have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about one thing that you could possibly fix if you werent too busy looking for attention.

  37. I will immediately seize your rss as I can’t find your email subscription link or newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Please let me understand in order that I may subscribe. Thanks.

  38. Wonderful blog! I found it while browsing on Yahoo News.Do you have any tips on how to get listed in YahooNews? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there!Many thanks

  39. Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is magnificent blog. A fantastic read. I will definitely be back.

  40. I have been surfing online more than 3 hours today, yet I never discovered any fascinating article like yours. It is beautiful worth enough for me. In my opinion, if all site owners and bloggers made just right content material as you probably did, the web might be a lot more helpful than ever before.

  41. I needed to send you that little bit of note just to thank you very much the moment again with your marvelous views you’ve featured on this page. It’s quite wonderfully generous with people like you to offer extensively exactly what numerous people could have offered for sale as an electronic book to make some money on their own, particularly considering that you could have tried it in case you decided. Those points in addition served to be the great way to know that most people have similar dream just like my personal own to know the truth whole lot more related to this problem. Certainly there are millions of more fun instances in the future for people who find out your blog. discover.com/activate

  42. When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get threeemails with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove people from thatservice? Many thanks!

  43. Thank you for some other informative site. The place else may just I get that type of info written in such a perfect means? I have a undertaking that I am simply now running on, and I have been at the look out for such info.|

  44. Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I’ve really enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. In any case I will be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again very soon!|

  45. Howdy! This article couldn’t be written much better! Looking through this article reminds me of my previous roommate! He constantly kept talking about this. I’ll send this article to him. Pretty sure he’ll have a very good read. Thank you for sharing!|

  46. Hey very cool site!! Guy .. Beautiful .. Amazing .. I will bookmark your website and take the feeds also? I am glad to search out a lot of useful information right here within the post, we want work out extra techniques in this regard, thanks for sharing. . . . . .|

  47. Hey there! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you using for this website? I’m getting sick and tired of WordPress because I’ve had issues with hackers and I’m looking at options for another platform. I would be awesome if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.|

  48. Howdy! This article couldn’t be written much better! Going through this article reminds me of my previous roommate! He continually kept talking about this. I will forward this article to him. Pretty sure he’ll have a great read. Many thanks for sharing!|

  49. I have not checked in here for some time because I thought it was gettingboring, but the last several posts are great quality so I guess I will add you back to my everydaybloglist. You deserve it my friend 🙂Here is my blog … Hosea

  50. Hey! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a collection of volunteers and starting a new initiative in a community in the same niche. Your blog provided us valuable information to work on. You have done a extraordinary job!|

  51. Have you ever thought about including a little bit more than just your articles? I mean, what you say is important and all. However think of if you added some great visuals or video clips to give your posts more, “pop”! Your content is excellent but with images and clips, this site could definitely be one of the greatest in its niche. Wonderful blog!|

  52. Hi, i think that i saw you visited my blog so i came to “return the favor”.I’m trying to find things to enhance my web site!I suppose its ok to use a few of your ideas!!|

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The Stand