As the winter winds start to pick up and the last few days of Fall warmth disappear, a strange phenomenon occurs within our little town of St Andrews. In crowded pubs that smell like spilled beer and good memories, people will buy each other pints and wander over to quiet corners. In Art History classes, Main Bar or even in Dervish, over a box of soggy chips, two people will meet each other. And then, within a few weeks, you will see those same two people walking down Market Street hand in hand, ordering pancakes in North Point, and shopping for uni supplies. A month later, they will act like they’ve known each other for years, and after a bit you will forget that they were ever single. This perfect dream would not seem so strange except for the fact that an inordinate amount of people in St Andrews seem to find themselves in this position.
Whilst relationships can be wonderful and fulfil the well-know statistic that one in ten St Andrews couples will marry, it is important to remember not to lose yourself in the bliss and comfort of a new or old romance.
In just a little while, the wind will start to feel like icy fingers clawing at your scarf and the sky will be dark when you hurry to your 9 am class and will be dark again as you trudge home at 3 pm. Going out into the dark will feel like a Navy Seal Op into the arctic tundra, and staying in with your S.O. to watch a film and have a cuddle will just seem so more inviting.
However, I caution you: it’s easy to forget all of the friends you made during freshers, and it’s even easier to stop seeking out new friendships. Therefore, I present a list of checks and balances to consider if you find yourself in a St Andrews’ relationship:
- Would you ever go out if your S.O. was staying in?
- Do you ever stay out with your friends after your S.O. heads home?
- While Saturdays are great for brunch with your boy/girlfriend, do you ever make plans to meet up with other friends instead?
- Can you have a lengthy conversation without referring to your boy/girlfriend?
- Do you regularly miss out on society or social events because your S.O. didn’t want to go or because you instead spent the evening with them watching a film?
Every relationship is different and special, but it’s important to remember that your friends love you too and want to spend time with you. And even more importantly, just because one in ten St Andrews students ends up with married to another student, doesn’t mean that you should feel pressure to be a part of that ten percent. Your friends will be the ones to support you (buying shots and listen to sad songs on repeat with you) if it doesn’t work out, but if you drift away from them you might find yourself alone when you need them the most.
We already live in a bubble: don’t build another one around your relationship.