The New Adventures of Old Emily: Dancing Like No One’s Watching

Emily Christie takes on the fashion world.

Balls and Galas at St Andrews have always meant one thing for me – namely trying to convey glamour and sophistication instead of my usual slightly-bloated corpse physique and abrasive Jar Jar Binks- esque personality. Up until now I’ve done a pretty good job at it, buying nice dresses (usually off eBay), attempting to match my eyeliner wings (instead of letting one fly high and the other flap around my cheek), and even wearing high heels, despite hobbling around waving my arms as I try not to trip over cobbles or land face first on the PH.

This is great in some ways: I love dressing up and feeling fancy. But for me it’s just not comfortable, and leads to awkward situations. At a ball in first year I decided to wear fake eyelashes for the first time, but the minute I put glue near my lashes my eyelids started freaking out and twitching manically. I succeeded in blinking glue into my eye. Cue a lot of screaming, water splashing, and cursing at various deities, resulting in my rocking a single bloodshot eye that clashed badly with my outfit.

Another time in second year I chose some red heels that were so painful and impractical, I was sure I had nerve damage after the ten steps from the taxi to the marquee. I ended up taking them off the minute I reached the tent, but got reprimanded by a bouncer multiple times. As I continued to hide my shoes in various places I resorted to attempting to conceal my bare feet while dancing and walking by moving my legs as quickly as possible, my reasoning being if my feet were a constant blur they wouldn’t be able to see my footwear situation. Of course the sight of a girl flailing her legs erratically drew even more attention, and the fight of the century featuring Emily vs security ended in me being told I’d have to leave if I didn’t strap my feet into those red patent prisons.

So yeah, the air of luxury often becomes a bit polluted by my total inability to act like a normal human, who keeps glue out of her eyes and shoes on her feet. Being the old and wise person I am now, I decided to forget about trying to present an image of myself that just isn’t me, and to simply go to an event and have fun. This year’s House of Horror Charity Gala was my chosen venue; instead of agonising about shoes, hair and makeup, I decided to dress up like a skeleton.

Photo: Lightbox Creative
Photo: Lightbox Creative

Getting ready, I realised how unstressed I was. My fancy-dress costume was roomy and comfortable, and my white and black face paint meant those dreaded eyeliner wings were totally absent. Without the constant worry of visible panty lines, streaky lipstick or sore feet, I decided to go one step further and do something I’d only ever seen on discount store t-shirts and posters with kittens on it. I decided to dance like no one was watching.

Stomping my spooky self onto the dance floor, I immediately started throwing shapes that were more spasm than sleek sashay, challenging my friends to ugly dance offs and gyrating with all the grace and care of a drunk great aunty at a wedding. I made sure I wasn’t in anyone’s way and didn’t whack anybody in the face with my multiple flailing limbs, but apart from that I really just went for it. At one point I thought to look around and check in case there was a circle of horrified onlookers. But apart from there being a larger than normal space between my group and others, nothing terrible happened. I wasn’t removed from the event for crimes against decency, and I found myself grinning the whole time.

Being more Primark than Prada doesn’t have to be a bad thing, even at big events like balls and galas. And this week’s self-set challenge was one of my favourites. I wore my skeleton costume with pride, danced until I nearly dropped, and never stopped to worry about what anyone else was thinking – and it was pretty great.



140 thoughts on “The New Adventures of Old Emily: Dancing Like No One’s Watching

  1. Howdy! This post couldn’t be written much better! Looking at this post reminds me of my previous roommate! He continually kept preaching about this. I will forward this information to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thanks for sharing!

  2. Oh my goodness! a tremendous article dude. Thank you Nevertheless I’m experiencing difficulty with ur rss . Don?t know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anyone getting identical rss problem? Anybody who is aware of kindly respond. Thnkx

    New blog post, I wanted to share.

    Namecheap is a really popular web hosting company that is global they have over 11 million registered users. There are a bunch of different types of options for building a website, wordpress tools to help you, and email tools. They have a bunch of other software and security tools as well like SSL certificates. If your gonna buy from Namecheap, just do yourself a favor and use a coupon from our site… it takes a moment to find one and you will save some money.
    Some ways to save at Namecheap
    New customer discounts

    If your a new customer you get access to a lot of discouns and promo codes that are not normally available like coupons giving 50% off and 1 USD .com domains. Some really juicy stuff for real. Usually it depends on the product you are purchasing. Businesses and individuals can use these discounts and promo codes from, but I think most businesses never use the codes… im not really sure why. There are some special coupons you can find on alternative sites there was a recent promo code that gave over 60% off a one-year VPN service. They have good products so I imagine the VPN would be pretty fast for a cheap price. Win.
    Student, teacher, and educator discounts

    f you are a student or teacher you show your email address with a .edu email or maybe email Namecheap with your student or teacher ID and you will get access to a nice bit of coupons/discounts for sure. This bundle includes a domain name plus one of the following:

    Free use of the company business card maker
    Free use of the Logo Maker feature
    Free hosting for one year

    Sign up for the newsletter

    If you join the namecheap newsletter you will get emailed a bunch of discounts and coupons also. You get more than just promos and discounts they will keep you updated with all the happenings going on at Namecheap like any new product offers or even any issues with services I imagine.
    Get 20% off

    You can find a namecheap promo code for 20% off if you visit our main page.
    How to redeem a Namecheap promo code

    Add your product to your cart. Go to your cart. And scroll down there should be an option for a promo code or coupon. You can find a picture of what I am talking about on own home page. But it isn’t too hard I believe in you. During the payment process you can apply the discount code
    Troubleshooting your promo code

    We make sure our promo codes work all the time. However sometimes they are updated for whatever reason at Namecheap or other issues might arise. Make sure if your typing in the promo code correctly.

    Also sometimes you need to purchase a certain type of product. Lets say your code is for a .com domain, and your purchasing a .net domain the discount code will not work.

    Namecheap’s website will often tell you the error and reason for why the promo code is not working as well.
    Top Namecheap products

    Namecheap offers a lot of different stuff, but some of the ones that people love are:

    Free logo maker: create your custom logo for free on the Namecheap website
    VPS hosting: choose from monthly, quarterly, or yearly plans
    SSL certificates: help secure your users’ data by encrypting your website

  4. I like the helpful info you provide in your articles.
    I will bookmark your weblog and check again here
    frequently. I’m quite sure I’ll learn a lot of new stuff right here!

    Good luck for the next!

  5. Hi, Neat post. There’s a problem with your web site in internet explorer, would test this? IE still is the market leader and a good portion of people will miss your excellent writing because of this problem.

  6. One thing I’d like to say is always that before getting more computer memory, look at the machine into which it can be installed. If the machine can be running Windows XP, for instance, the particular memory limit is 3.25GB. Installing a lot more than this would just constitute a waste. Make sure that one’s mother board can handle your upgrade quantity, as well. Interesting blog post.

  7. You’re so cool! I do not think I’ve read through something like this before. So wonderful to find another person with unique thoughts on this issue. Seriously.. many thanks for starting this up. This site is something that is required on the web, someone with a bit of originality.

  8. I cannot thank you more than enough for the blogposts on your website. I know you set a lot of time and energy into these and truly hope you know how deeply I appreciate it. I hope I’ll do a similar thing person sooner or later.

  9. Aw, this was an extremely good post. Taking a few minutes and actual effort to produce a superb article… but what can I say… I hesitate a whole lot and never seem to get nearly anything done.

  10. Good site! I really love how it is simple on my eyes and the data are well written. I’m wondering how I could be notified whenever a new post has been made. I’ve subscribed to your feed which must do the trick! Have a great day!

  11. Pingback: copenhagen jobs
  12. An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a co-worker who had been conducting a little research on this. And he in fact bought me breakfast because I stumbled upon it for him… lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thanks for the meal!! But yeah, thanks for spending time to talk about this topic here on your internet site.

  13. I blog frequently and I truly appreciate your content. Your article has really peaked my interest. I’m going to take a note of your blog and keep checking for new information about once a week. I opted in for your RSS feed as well.

  14. Howdy! I just would like to give an enormous thumbs up for the nice info you have got right here on this post. I will likely be coming again to your blog for more soon.

  15. Aw, this was a really nice post. In concept I wish to put in writing like this additionally ? taking time and actual effort to make a very good article? but what can I say? I procrastinate alot and on no account appear to get something done.

  16. I have to thank you for the efforts you’ve put in writing this website. I am hoping to view the same high-grade blog posts from you later on as well. In truth, your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my own, personal site now 😉

  17. This is the perfect website for anyone who wishes to understand this topic. You realize a whole lot its almost tough to argue with you (not that I really would want to…HaHa). You definitely put a brand new spin on a subject that’s been written about for many years. Excellent stuff, just wonderful.

  18. Aw, this was an exceptionally good post. Taking the time and actual effort to generate a very good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate a whole lot and don’t seem to get nearly anything done.

  19. Abnormal this put up is totaly unrelated to what I was searching google for, but it surely used to be listed at the first page. I suppose your doing one thing proper if Google likes you adequate to place you at the first page of a non similar search.

  20. You are so cool! I do not think I have read through a single thing like this before. So good to find somebody with some original thoughts on this subject matter. Really.. thank you for starting this up. This website is something that is needed on the internet, someone with a bit of originality.

  21. Wһen someone ԝrites аn paragraph һe/sһе maintains the plan oof
    a սsеr іn his/her brain that һow a uѕer can be aware оf it.
    Τhus that’ѕ why thiks piece of writing is amazing.


    Look at my web blog: Slot Gacor

  22. Having read this I believed it was rather enlightening. I appreciate you finding the time and effort to put this short article together. I once again find myself spending a lot of time both reading and leaving comments. But so what, it was still worth it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *