Photo: Siliconeer

One Night Stand: Laurence and Victoria

The lucky couple share their thoughts.

On Thursday 9th February, a pair of strangers met at Balaka for a romantic evening meal. These are their stories.


1. Please give the date a 1-10 ranking

I would give it a solid 9/10.

2. How was your performance?

Performance? What an odd question – as if I were some kind of lawn mower. I did make some rather un-strategic choices, such as picking the garlic mushrooms as a starter (very edible), and the absolutely delicious Ceylon curry (Vindaloo – the spiciest – with coconut milk). So there I sat, with a roaring garlic breath, bright red in the face, sweating madly and tearing up from the murderous chili – yet Victoria was very tolerant!

3. What actually happened at the date?

Naturally I was apprehensive of whom I might come across. I was expecting the very worst – some sort of vegetable in conversation and appearance would show up – and that I would spend my time awkwardly gulping down my curry, slurping apple juice as quickly as possible before finding some cheap excuse to make a run for it. But instead, as I came in, the staff whispered to me, “She’s very attractive,” and sat me down. Minutes later came an absolutely charming madam, rather agreeable in appearance, too, and we ended up having remarkably intellectual conversations about history, culture, etc. Very unlike the usual “chin your drink and burp” approach standard to St Andrews! We spent a solid three hours in the restaurant, and probably would have stayed longer, but I had to rush to my duties at our crêperie, Ludo & Lolo’s.

4. Are you going to see this person again?

Hopefully, indeed – she did mention a rather extensive collection of whiskies at her house.

5. Would you go on a blind date again?

Most certainly – at the very worst, it means free food and drink, a rather tasty consolation prize… And at best, perhaps even some future cheekiness! Regardless, you’re likely to meet someone you’d never have met, even at this small university. Fortunately, there is always something to talk about, precisely because it is such a small university. Much recommended, and Balaka certainly deserves various prizes for the quality of its service!

Photo: Nawaab


1. Please give the date a 1-10 ranking

I’m going to be confident and give the date an 8-9. I at least thoroughly enjoyed myself! And now it will be very awkward if he gives it a 2…..

2. How was your performance?

Pros: There were no awkward pauses, it was never uncomfortable, and there was plenty of interesting and engaging conversation!

Cons: I think somewhere during my second glass of wine my awkward personality began to come out in full force. My bizarre obsession with ducks came up… That was a hard one to explain

3. What actually happened at the date?

After sprinting the last 500 metres (as I had just hit Market Street when it turned 7:30), I went down the stairs into the restaurant to be greeted by a waitress with a very cheeky smile on her face. Unfortunately, my companion for the evening was screened from view by a partition, so it was a mystery until I finally turned the corner who I would be privileged to have dinner with. I was very pleased to find myself sitting across from a charming, engaging and entirely interesting gentleman who regaled me with a series of colourful stories and managed to make me laugh throughout the evening. Having felt a bit nervous on the walk up to the restaurant, I was incredibly relieved to, not just have a tolerable time, but instead have a quite enjoyable and fun evening!

The food was delicious, and since the restaurant was fairly quiet, we were given extra attention. Plus, it helped that the staff that evening were thoroughly interested in the going-ons of the date, and would not-so-subtly look over with large grins on their faces once in awhile. After politely asking permission, my companion did decide to go with the garlic mushrooms for his starter, and I was therefore forced to counter with the onion bhaji. Yet, through three courses and three glasses of wine (and, admittedly, I did steal some of his beer) the evening progressed quite nicely! And he was even kind enough to walk me part way to the library where I had been instructed to go to immediately after to give my flatmate the debrief on the events of the evening.

4. Are you going to see this person again?

St Andrews is small enough that I think it would very difficult not to eventually run into him! And if I do, I’m sure it will be a very pleasant meeting!

5. Would you go on a blind date again? (What are the benefits of blind dating, what are the drawbacks, should everyone do it?)

Definitely! It gives you an opportunity to meet people you otherwise wouldn’t. Besides, it’s quite fun not knowing whose going to be sitting there across from you! Even if it doesn’t turn out to be romantic, you still come away with a story and a new acquaintance! I suppose the drawback is, if you’re like me, and can only have two glasses of wine before you start bringing up ducks…

One Night Stand is a weekly column that The Stand runs in partnership with Balaka. If you’re interested in applying for a blind date, please email [email protected] Owing to the volume of submissions, we cannot respond to everyone individually; but rest assured, you will be contacted if we find a match for you! 



4 thoughts on “One Night Stand: Laurence and Victoria

  1. Pingback: 풀팟포커
  2. Pingback: sitecentre

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

The Stand