FIXR’s Uni League Table Exposes Promiscuity, Prices, and Pints

The tables rank universities based on STIs and attractiveness, among other things.

FIXR released an Alternative University League Table earlier this month.  This league table strayed away from the usual topics such as student satisfaction and most popular module.  Instead, ranking universities based on social features such as the lowest price for a pint and the best Student Unions.

The FIXR survey believes that the official university league tables are “a pile of balls,” prompting them to create a survey on “what really matters” to the average student.  Eight categories were included in this research: average pint price, price of a kebab, boy:girl ratio, most attractive universities, average number of sexual partners, weekly club nights, best Student Union, and percentage of students with a sexually transmitted disease. Overall, St Andrews was ranked number 25 out of 50, placing us as the most average university.

A page from the rankings.

While St Andrews is placed at the lower end of the scale for average price of a pint (£2.40), it was placed at the higher end for the price of a kebab (£6.30). No surprise there on Dervish’s behalf. The ratio of boys to girls at St Andrews is 41:59. Although this may be evident in our everyday lives as students of the University; it appears that this is the general trend across the entire table, with a few exceptions.

Forget about Sinners or the Friday night bop as Ma Bells topped the league table for a weekly night club that students were unlikely to miss. Ma Bells certainly does have its weekly following, which is why coming across it on this league table is almost comical. The University fell in terms of best Student Union, reaching only 31 on the ranking. The triumphant winner of this category was Cardiff University.

St Andrews is placed in the middle for average number of sexual partners at 4.67 a year. While amusing, or depressing, to some, it could potentially be the reason for why only 1.12% of students at our university have an STI; enlisting us in first place.

Whilst some categories are subjective, the majority of results were based on regional data from Public Health information, and primary observations of students between the ages of 15 – 24 only.

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