1. You will get adopted randomly by someone on a drunken night at the Union, and then completely forget about it the next morning.
2. You will be problematically hit on by third years trying to adopt you, and academic incest will never stop being creepy.
3. You will end up drinking too many Pablos at the union, and vomit up some lurid blue mixture on your way home.
4. You will go to the freshers’ Sports Fayre with incredibly good intentions, but ultimately your greatest sporting participation this year will be the unsolicited emails from the Quidditch Team, whose meetings you will never ever go to.
5. You will get very lost trying to find your way to the Gateway Building, due to itss mysterious absence from Apple Maps.
6. You will eagerly waste all of your money in Blackwells, before realising that literally all of your course materials (even the textbooks) can be found in the charity shops for half of what you paid for them.
7. You will turn up to lunch very hungover, and never be able to forget the soothing feeling of carbohydrate-filled halls food as it settles your churning stomach.
8. You will get the phone number of everybody you meet, only to realise two months later that you have 7 Harrys in your phone, with no idea which is which.
9. You will turn up to all of your introductory lectures. Believe me, this is a feat never to occur again.
10. You will “bond” with everyone you meet on your first night, but never speak to them again after Freshers’ Week is over.