Hi! It’s your weather girl and have I got NEWS for you! Love is in the windy, Scottish air so make sure to hold your breath and close your windows, because this Valentine’s Day it’s all about celebrating the sexy, stunning students who, against all odds, are single at a university famous for its matchmaking. Luckily, it’s the twenty-first century and there’s no longer a taboo to stay inside and enjoy Valentine’s Day the way most singles find appropriate: sweatpants, chocolate, and a LOT of booze.
My proud single self will be spending this romantic holiday eating sweets drunk in comfy clothing with my friends, true Galentine’s Day fashion. I mean really, only an idiot would say no to an offer like that. But for those of you who are going on a date this Wednesday, have fun suffering through an awkward dinner at an overly expensive restaurant!
Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to have a significant other you can rely on, but always remember the wise words, ‘confection before fornication’, that were once (but not actually) spoken by a perpetually single person. In all honesty, this holiday is not solely one that celebrates love, but also the lack of it! If you showed up in Tesco buying large amounts of chocolate and several bottles of wine –several being 10—in the middle of April, then it would seem like you’re getting over a relationship, not glorifying the fact you don’t have one! So, my single friends, here is your required shopping list for this week:
- Two bottles of wine for each sweatpants-clad single accompanying you in celebrating your availability
- Ten Cadbury chocolate bars, because you like your chocolate the way you like your men, extra sweet.
- Eights pint of Ben & Jerrys Ice Cream (but only the ones on sale for £2.50 because you know that’s how we do)
- Pain killers and Anti-acids for the ENORMOUS hangover you’re going to have Thursday
While although this isn’t exactly a list one should be proud of, it is a list that befits a holiday like this. But please, don’t be self-conscious and wonder why you don’t have someone romantic in your life. Instead think of the people who already love you: your friends. I promise, if you spend the holiday you dread most with the people you adore most, you will be the least, loneliest person in this university town. So, I don’t know about you, but I cannot wait to put my hands –and wine glass— up to celebrate another successful Valentine’s Day with the only people who truly matter: my single ladies.