How Student Modelling Healed my Relationship to Masculinity

By Opinion Editor 4 years ago

From walking the (cat)walk, to talking the talk: how one student’s modelling experience changed their life.

Most of us are familiar with the feeling – waking up a little too late, mouth a little too dry and our heads pounding like the bass of the night before. Some of us may also know the sensation of a solitary tear rolling down our cheeks, recalling some of the decisions made that, somehow, seemed ok at the time. But on a bright Thursday morning, I found myself blubbering on my bed for an altogether different reason. For the second time, I was experiencing the morning after Catwalk. The night before, we had been strutting around 601, parading patently ridiculous clothes, rocking some questionable dance moves to some unquestionable disco bangers, and trying not to trip into the friendly faces that surrounded us below. Now, the only thing that surrounded me was a very sorry and slightly damp pillow. 

It is hard to put a finger on exactly what it was that conjured such emotions. No doubt the aforementioned symptoms of the morning after didn’t exactly help. Reflecting a little further, however, the experience was so much more than another night out. The very sorry pillow cradled someone who was the most comfortable in their own gender, skin and sexuality than they had ever been before.

Photo: Henry Memmott

We hear a lot about the difficulties of becoming a woman in our society, and rightfully so. But becoming a man is often not a great deal of fun either. Performing masculinity, social status concerns and raging hormones combine in various formations to – for want of a better phrase – fuck us up. The ways these problems influence our behaviour and sense of worth often stick well into adulthood. Growing up as someone not widely considered masculine, we know these issues only too well. We know the sting of social rejection from other boys. The shame of spilling our mother’s make-up. The discomfort of the changing room. The hatred of our voices and walks. The fear of the very people we may be attracted to. In a society that values masculinity above most other traits in a man, not attaining it, and being completely incapable of doing so, is worse than not being a man at all.

You may at this point be wondering how on earth these self-pitying memories of youth relate to a charity fashion show in the union. Hangovers can’t be the best qualifications in gender theory, not that I can think of a better one. But, as my bleary eyes winced at the light creeping through the curtain, I realised that being a part of Catwalk for two years had mended so much of the hurt inflicted by never being a masculine guy.

Photo: Henry Memmott

Before the show, when the nerves kicked in and the clock counted down, I had volunteered to help the make-up team with the boy’s faces. Although I was not an authority on all things cosmetic, enough break-outs and puffy face days had taught me the basics, and I enjoyed getting stuck in, blending out foundation, brushing brows and contouring like my life depended on it. What struck me was that, just like the year before, the guys got really into it. For some reason, they trusted me, with many demanding I use all the makeup that was there. One channelled true Queen vibes, stating with all the confidence he could muster, ‘I want it all’. The ability to wield a sponge suddenly became a superpower. The lack of masculinity transformed into the tight caped outfit it was always supposed to be. 

Looking back, nothing could have helped me feel more comfortable and confident with who I am than these two shows. When your strut, your pose, your love of clothes, and so much of who you are is not only accepted but embraced by so many wonderful individuals, you can’t help but recall a different time and think how far you’ve come. Furthermore, many of the boys made me realise the brilliant and different ways to be a man. The straight, masculine and buff chaps were often even more homoerotic and tactile than the gay ones, with a cheeky flirt and butt grab becoming a regular part of interactions (you know who you are).

Photo: Henry Memmott

It was these teams of beautiful people, inside and out, that proved the ultimate remedies to the nagging insecurities and faded scars that come with growing up deficient in masculinity. They helped me see that the masculinity society seems to value so much is not the rule book on how to be a man. Some were typically masculine and some were not, but they were all kind and confident in themselves and their relationships with others, and it was ultimately these attributes that were respected above all else. So lying in bed, head pounding and with a mouth significantly drier than my eyes, I can honestly say that, for me, student modelling did so much more than create a great night and raise money for worthy causes. And rarest of all, perhaps I am the only person who can say their lives got a little bit better in 601.

Comments

comments

Tags: , , , , , ,

46 thoughts on “How Student Modelling Healed my Relationship to Masculinity”

  20. Kimcartoon has revolutionized the way I watch cartoons online. Their website offers a seamless streaming experience, with a vast selection of cartoons and animated series available at my fingertips. I love how I can easily search for my favorite shows or explore new titles based on recommendations. The streaming quality is superb, and I appreciate how quickly episodes load without any buffering. Kimcartoon has become my go-to platform for reliving childhood memories and discovering new cartoon gems. Kimcartoon

    Reply

  24. https://www.alldatingwebsites.com/reviews/flirt.com/
    https://www.datingsitesreviews.com/forum/viewtopic.php?showtopic=8185
    https://beyondages.com/flirt-review/
    https://www.alldatingwebsites.com/reviews/flirt.com/682-flirtcom–do-not-use.php
    https://www.reddit.com/r/Scams/comments/meiute/flirtcom_is_a_scam/
    https://justhookup.com/sites/flirt-review/
    https://www.datingwise.com/review/flirt.com/
    https://healthyframework.com/flirt-com-review/

    Flirt.com is a scam
    Hi all, got scammed by this website. Saw that there were a couple of post informing about this but just wanted to give more details
    Paid for the three day offer and with the confirmation of the subscription, got two mails from hornycontacts.com and loveaholics.com asking me to confirm my email. Didn’t pay attention and deleted them.
    I immediately canceled the subscription in flirt.com without any issue and on the last day it changed to a standard membership so since it was bs site, cancelled the account as well.
    So I was happy and watching a movie when I got an sms from my card provider telling me that I got a 71.78 euros charge from fry frtlsp.com. Never heard of them, so I called my card provider and cancelled my card and will request the return of the money as well.
    Then I realized that maybe these two websites also by some miracle signed me up to a paid subscription… so I logged in… had to recover the passwords because they were not the one I used in flirt.com… and surprise, loveaholics.com did signed me up for a paid subscription without me being aware (pretty sure that somewhere during the signing process in flirt there was something checked and didn’t pay attention.). So I had to cancel subscription and account in these two other sites.
    So, sorry for the long post but in summary…. do not use flirt.com at all!!!
    Yes, FLIRT.COM it is a scamming website. It sign you on multiple websites like askme4date.com . It bombard you with emails that you receive messages, and you need to pay to see them. After you pay you see the messages. All messages are from BOTS. No real person.
    It’s subscribing to automatic renewal and it’s hard to cancel renewal. They push you to a complicated scheme. I’m not even sure the renewal canceling works. After

    Reply

  26. An interesting discussion may be valued at comment. I’m sure that you should write more on this topic, may possibly not become a taboo subject but generally individuals are not enough to talk on such topics. An additional. Cheers

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

THE STAND