The Met Gala: A Belated Review

This year’s theme of Anna Wintour’s annual social experiment with Hollywood’s elite and…TikTok influencers as participants was “America: A Lexicon of Fashion.” As per usual, it was roundly ignored. That being said, a few identifiable trends distinguished themselves on the red carpet with varying degrees of success. Notable among these were allusions to Old Hollywood, androgynous styles (are men going to have to actually start putting in effort for these things? Maybe Santa is real), and glittery near-nude numbers. 

The Highlights

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Versace has by and large fallen from grace but this fits Lil Nas X like a glove, embodies his personality in sartorial form, and fits vaguely with the theme as a nod to the all-American days of Elvis’s popularity. Good work.

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Zoe Kravitz could wear a dress crafted from the rotten fruit peel-soaked liner bags of my compost bin and I would call it art. I don’t care. I will not be taking any questions.

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Rihanna and ASAP Rocky are one of the most aesthetically powerful unions to grace this planet, and I actually think the fact that ASAP Rocky’s stylist fished someone’s dead grandmother’s quilt out of a thrift store bin is creative, resourceful, and fun. That’s not a snarky quip, by the way, that’s literally what happened–Google it! It’s exactly the level of irreverence the Met Gala deserves. As for Rihanna, Zoe Kravitz’s rules more or less apply. Regardless, she looks like twenty-first century royalty. 

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I wish I’d worn this to my high school prom instead of the blue schmatte I ordered off promgirl.com. I’m a sucker for an intricately beaded dress and the styling is unique without being performatively weird.

The Middling

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This is a cool dress, but it’s a Bianca Jagger rip-off and a bit underwhelming for the Met Gala. I’m not particularly surprised–it’s not as if Kaia Gerber has had to put effort into more or less anything in her entire life.

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Again, this is a good look but not very Met Gala. A little safe. Honorable mention/yawn. 

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This seems a little too much like a repeat of the Heavenly Bodies theme, and I’m not really sure what’s up with the random buttons.

The Bad

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I don’t really have anything to say about this that hasn’t already been said at length, but maybe rubbing elbows with the most prominent celebrities in the world as cops brutalize anti-capitalist protesters outside isn’t the best way to get this particular message across. It’s also my opinion that having to use text to spell out your message on a piece of clothing is artistically lazy, and the dress is an aesthetic abomination. I would also be remiss not to mention Megan Fox and her weird little clip-on bangs lurking in the background.

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Cara Delevigne also seems to have fallen victim to the spell-it-out trend, but this time I have to ask why she wanted to spell this out to begin with. Is pegging supposed to be degrading? Again, this discourse is well-trodden ground by now, but this has left me with more questions than answers.

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I’m not sure if it’s possible to make Lily-Rose Depp look bad, but Chanel really tried. The silhouette of this ensemble is horrendous and the makeup is off. Disappointing.

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In a word: um.

While this is hardly a comprehensive review of the Met Gala, ‘fashion’s biggest night out’ is bound to be pulled into critiques, controversies and confusion. These were just some of the trends that stood out, but we will have to wait until next year to see what designers have up their sleeves. 

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