Mental Illness in St Andrews

By Editor 7 years ago

Anonymous describes the reality of living with voices in one’s head.

TW: Self-harm

I am not religious, but for a brief period when I was around fifteen or sixteen, I was so certain that I’d spend entire nights wondering what hell was like. This certainty came from the fact that I, fairly frequently, thought I could hear His voice in my head.

Now, about five years later, I know the voices in my head are not the product of heaven but of depression, anxiety and paranoia, and I’m more likely to respond to them with exhausted frustration than religious dread. But in many ways they run my life as much as they did when I thought they had the power to send me to Hell.

This doesn’t mean I do everything the voices tell me, you understand. If I did that, then I’d be either in a jail or a graveyard rather than a room in St Andrews. But the desire not to listen to them seeps into more or less everything I do. If I study too intensely and relax too little, it’s because that gives me an excuse not to listen when the whispers start. If I take on too much extracurricular stuff, it’s because I can use all the exhausting projects these hobbies afford me to tire out the invasive creatures in my brain so they don’t have the energy to start smashing the place up. If I randomly message my friends in the middle of the night, it’s because I’m desperate to talk to someone who isn’t telling me to hurt myself.

And that’s just the stuff that happens when I don’t listen to my voices. When I do.. .Well, there’s a reason why I’m making this article anonymous.

Again, most of the stuff I end up doing isn’t that dramatic. I’ve cut myself with a razor a couple of times, and on one memorable occasion snatched up a fag butt someone had dropped outside the Union and absent-mindedly stubbed it out on my skin, but usually the bad stuff is more subtle. I avoid spending money, to the point of scrounging meals out of bins. I apologise, randomly, profusely and unnecessarily for more or less everything I do. I don’t sleep, shower, change my clothes, pay any attention to health or hygiene. I take random walks out to West Sands at 4 am and just stand there, fantasising about who would come to my funeral.

Am I proud of this behaviour? Of course not. I’m blanching a little as I write it. But sometimes my mind stops working and I do weird things. And I know that sounds like the weakest of weak excuses, but it’s the only way I can describe it.

There’s an upside to all of this, though. St Andrews is possibly the best place there is to be my particular brand of crazy. I’m not just talking about Student Services, though they are helpful. The voices find it easiest to get to me when my mind’s not occupied by anything else, and that’s not an easy situation to find yourself in in St Andrews. Sure, overwork-as-therapy probably isn’t healthy and I probably shouldn’t be doing it, but if it helps me shut up my uninvited guests then I’ll be forever grateful to this place for letting that happen.

And if it doesn’t? Well, I’m sure The Stand will provide excellent reportage on whatever hideous thing I end up doing.

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    פרח הנחיות הם אתר ווב מידע והדרכות לסחר ב שרף באמצעות האפליקציה הנפוצה מסר.

    האתר האינטרנט מספקת את כל ה הקישורים לאתרים והידע המתעדף להקבוצות וערוצים באתר מומלצים לביקור לקניית פרחי קנאביס בהמסר במדינה.

    כמו למעשה, פורטל מציע הדרכה מתעדף לאיך להתכנן בטלגראס ולקנות פרחי קנאביס בקלות מסירת ובמהירות.

    בעזרת המסמכים, אף משתמשים חדשים יוכלו להחיים ההפרח בהמשלוח בפניות מאובטחת ומאובטחת לשימוש.

    הבוט של השרף מאפשר להמשתמשים ללבצע פעולות המבוצעות שונות כמו כן השקת קנאביס, קבלת תמיכה תמיכה, בדיקת והוספת ביקורות על המצרים. כל זאת בפניות נוחה לשימוש ופשוטה דרך התוכנה.

    כאשר מדובר באמצעים שלמות, השרף משתמשת באמצעים מוכרות כמו כסף מזומן, כרטיסי אשראי וקריפטומונדה. חיוני לציין כי יש לבדוק ולוודא את המדיניות והחוקים המקומיים במדינה שלך ללפני התבצעות רכישה.

    המסר מציע יתרונות מרכזיים כמו פרטיות והגנה מוגברים, התקשורת מהירה וגמישות גבוהה. בנוסף, הוא מאפשר כניסה להאוכלוסיה עולמית רחבה ומציע מגוון של תכונות ויכולות.

    בסיכום, הטלגרם כיוונים היא המקום האידיאלי למצוא את כל המידע והקישורים הנדרשים לקניית פרחי קנאביס בפניות מהירה מאוד, בבטוחה ונוחה דרך המסר.

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  118. הימורים מקוונים הם חווייה מרגש ופופולריות ביותר בעידן המקוון, שמביאה מיליוני אנשים מכל
    כל רחבי העולם. ההימורים המקוונים מתבצעים על פי אירועים ספורטיביים, תוצאות פוליטיות ואפילו תוצאות מזג האוויר ונושאים נוספים. אתרי הימורים הווירטואליים מקריאים את כל מי שרוצה להימר על תוצאות אפשרות ולהנות חוויות ייחודיות ומרתקות.

    ההימורים המקוונים הם מהם כבר חלק מתרבות החברה מזמן רב והיום הם כבר לא רק חלק חשוב מהפעילות הכלכלית והתרבותית, אלא כמו כן מספקים תשואות וחוויות. משום שהם נגישים מאוד וקלים לשימוש, הם מתאימים לכל מהמשחק ולהנציח רגעי עסקה וניצחון בכל זמן ובכל מקום.

    טכנולוגיות דיגיטליות והימורים מקוונים הפכו להיות הפופולריים ביותר מעניינת ונפוצה. מיליוני אנשים מכל כל רחבי העולם מתעניינים בהימורים מקוונים, כוללים הימורי ספורט. הימורים מקוונים מציעים למשתתפים חוויה רגשית ומרתקת, שמתאימה לכל גיל וכישור בכל זמן ובכל מקום.

    אז מה עוד אתה מחכה לו? הצטרף עכשיו והתחיל ליהנות מכל רגע ורגע שההימורים באינטרנט מבטיחים.

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  122. Sure, here’s the text with spin syntax applied:

    Hyperlink Hierarchy

    After several updates to the G search algorithm, it is required to apply different strategies for ranking.

    Today there is a means to engage the interest of search engines to your site with the support of incoming links.

    Backlinks are not only an effective promotional instrument but they also have authentic traffic, immediate sales from these resources perhaps will not be, but transitions will be, and it is poyedenicheskogo traffic that we also receive.

    What in the end we get at the end result:

    We display search engines site through backlinks.
    Prluuchayut natural click-throughs to the site and it is also a sign to search engines that the resource is used by users.
    How we show search engines that the site is liquid:

    Links do to the main page where the main information.
    We make links through redirections reliable sites.
    The most SIGNIFICANT we place the site on sites analytical tools separate tool, the site goes into the memory of these analysis tools, then the acquired links we place as redirections on weblogs, forums, comment sections. This significant action shows search engines the site map as analysis tool sites display all information about sites with all key terms and headlines and it is very GOOD.
    All information about our services is on the website!

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  126. creating articles
    Creating exclusive articles on Medium and Telegraph, why it is vital:
    Created article on these resources is better ranked on less common queries, which is very vital to get natural traffic.
    We get:

    organic traffic from search algorithms.
    natural traffic from the internal rendition of the medium.
    The webpage to which the article refers gets a link that is profitable and increases the ranking of the site to which the article refers.
    Articles can be made in any amount and choose all less common queries on your topic.
    Medium pages are indexed by search algorithms very well.
    Telegraph pages need to be indexed distinctly indexer and at the same time after indexing they sometimes occupy positions higher in the search engines than the medium, these two platforms are very helpful for getting visitors.
    Here is a link to our offerings where we offer creation, indexing of sites, articles, pages and more.

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  127. Do you mind if I quote a couple of your posts as long as I provide credit and sources back to your webpage? My blog is in the very same area of interest as yours and my visitors would really benefit from a lot of the information you provide here. Please let me know if this ok with you. Many thanks!

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  141. Thanks , I’ve recently been looking for info about this topic for ages and yours is the greatest I’ve discovered so far. But, what about the conclusion? Are you sure about the source?

    Reply

  144. 온라인카지노는 카지노 게임을 인터넷으로 즐길 수 있는 사이트들의 집합체를 의미합니다. 현실적으로 카지노 이용자들은 온라인카지노와 카지노사이트를 별 차이 없이 동일한 의미로 사용하고 있습니다.

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  148. 反向連接金字塔

    G搜尋引擎在多番更新之后需要应用不同的排名參數。

    今天有一種方法可以使用反向链接吸引G搜尋引擎對您的網站的注意。

    反向連接不僅是有效的推廣工具，也是有機流量。

    我們會得到什麼結果：

    我們透過反向連結向G搜尋引擎展示我們的網站。
    他們收到了到該網站的自然過渡，這也是向G搜尋引擎發出的信號，表明該資源正在被人們使用。
    我們如何向G搜尋引擎表明該網站具有流動性：

    個帶有主要訊息的主頁反向链接
    我們透過來自受信任網站的重定向來建立反向連結。
    此外，我們將網站放置在独立的網路分析器上，網站最終會進入這些分析器的快取中，然後我們使用產生的連結作為部落格、論壇和評論的重新导向。 這個重要的操作向G搜尋引擎顯示了網站地圖，因為網站分析器顯示了有關網站的所有資訊以及所有關鍵字和標題，這很棒
    有關我們服務的所有資訊都在網站上！

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  149. Aquí está el texto con la estructura de spintax que propone diferentes sinónimos para cada palabra:

    “Pirámide de enlaces de retroceso

    Después de varias actualizaciones del motor de búsqueda G, necesita aplicar diferentes opciones de clasificación.

    Hay una forma de llamar la atención de los motores de búsqueda a su sitio web con enlaces de retroceso.

    Los enlaces de retorno no sólo son una estrategia eficaz para la promoción, sino que también tienen flujo de visitantes orgánico, las ventas directas de estos recursos más probable es que no será, pero las transiciones será, y es tráfico potencial que también obtenemos.

    Lo que vamos a obtener al final en la salida:

    Mostramos el sitio a los motores de búsqueda a través de vínculos de retroceso.
    Conseguimos conversiones orgánicas hacia el sitio, lo que también es una señal para los buscadores de que el recurso está siendo utilizado por la gente.
    Cómo mostramos los motores de búsqueda que el sitio es líquido:
    1 backlink se hace a la página principal donde está la información principal

    Hacemos backlinks a través de redirecciones de sitios de confianza
    Lo más crucial colocamos el sitio en una herramienta independiente de analizadores de sitios, el sitio entra en la caché de estos analizadores, luego los enlaces recibidos los colocamos como redirecciones en blogs, foros, comentarios.
    Esta importante acción muestra a los buscadores el MAPA DEL SITIO, ya que los analizadores de sitios muestran toda la información de los sitios con todas las palabras clave y títulos y es muy positivo.
    ¡Toda la información sobre nuestros servicios en el sitio web!

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  150. Hi, I do think this is an excellent blog. I stumbledupon it 😉 I will return yet again since i have book marked it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to help others.

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