Photo: Deliveroo

Confessions of a Deliveroo Driver

Behind the scenes of St Andrews’ latest craze.

Since I’ve started working for Deliveroo, I’ve learned a lot of things. I’ve learned how to deliver high quality restaurant food around St Andrews. I’ve learned the importance of punctuality and good customer service. And I’ve learned how narrow the doors into Blackhorn are.

How narrow? Well, narrow enough that if you try to go in too fast while wearing an extra large Deliveroo backpack you can get stuck, then slip, then fall backwards and end up lying on your back in the middle of Church Street in front of a restaurant full of people. So watch out for that if you ever join up. It happened to a friend of mine once. 

Joking aside, I would honestly recommend working for Deliveroo to anyone who owns a bike and wants some easy money. St Andrews is an especially good place to do it in, being small, and fairly easy to navigate – unlike a bigger, more confusing city like Glasgow, where you run the risk of getting lost, having to ask a twelve-year old girl for directions, and then hurriedly explain yourself to her dad why you’re looming over his daughter with what apparently looks like a child-capturing box on your back. This also happened to my friend.  

Another thing I’ve learned through Deliveroo is how lazy some St Andreans are. When I started riding, I assumed most of my deliveries would be to places without easy access to restaurants in town. Nope. I had to deliver from The Tail End to the Union once. That’s roughly 600 meters. Very easy to get there. Very difficult to keep the judgemental look off my face speaking to the customer.

As I get paid per delivery, I probably shouldn’t be complaining about having to make short ones, but this delivery was traumatic for other reasons: It was during my first shift, when I hadn’t properly adjusted to cycling with weight on my back. If you by any chance are part of that old couple I almost killed a fortnight ago, then I’m really sorry, but it’s hard to keep control of a bike while carrying five fish suppers. Also, kudos on still being hip enough to read The Stand at your age.  

I’ve also had to deliver orders consisting only of wine bottles. These orders have never been to parties of more than one, nor have they ever been to people living anywhere other than Sallies or Gannochy. Make of that what you will.

But I digress. I’ve worked in shops, in kitchens, as a garden labourer and as a club rep before this, and I can honestly say working as a Deliveroo rider is the best job I’ve ever done. I’d recommend it to any of my fellow students. Not only is the flexibility ideal, but it’s relatively easy to do. I’m a walking disaster of a human being but I do this job pretty well. If I can, you can too 

More than that, it’s fun to do. Once you put on that fluorescent-turtle uniform, you’re part of a community of great people. And if nothing else, I guarantee you’ll end up with some stories to tell.  

Like that time my friend fell into a stream. My friend. Definitely him.      

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